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Seventy Three.
Perm as pert as a purple walnut whip.
Gnarly claws the colour of ‘Gossamar Rouge Cloud’.
Because she is very much worth it.
Her knickers sink washed nightly because the laundrette stinks.
Tights wrinklier than the powdery face 73 lives in.
Son in Australia – he moved as soon as he knew he could sink or swim.
Daughter in America – she married and took to drink.
Her parenting skills had a lot to be desired but she meant well.
Idling in the queue at the bank one day she saw an opportunity.
She was off off like a 20 year old spring.
Snatch and grab, granny, snatch and grab.
‘Honest guv I tried to hand it in. But the cashier he didn’t want to know.’
She must have been dim.
She stole a phone in a bank where cameras are a common thing.
Poor old dear.
Seventy three with a toothless grin.
Useless when it came to thieving.